the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
