david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize