his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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