Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i need some magic done to my vagina
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
