I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
