wanna go halves on a baby?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
