you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize