not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
