i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
