he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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