he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
