I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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