There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
