did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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