she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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