I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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