I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
