Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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