On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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