he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
