Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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