You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
