And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
