I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
