We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize