the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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