maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
