apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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