I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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