Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
