its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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