Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
MIDGETS
????
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
