Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
