ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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