ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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