found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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