We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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