Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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