My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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