Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
third nipple confirmed
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
