Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
