Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
not ubering you a puppy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
