He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
