i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
