i would punch a child for taco bell
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
