In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you had me at cake vodka
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
