none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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