The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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