My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
