just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
