I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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