question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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