i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
