it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
