dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
