oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He felt like a one man threesome
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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