Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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