Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
