Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
