At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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