Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
