You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
