i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize